We all seem to have a very specific explanation for why we can’t do something or why we behave a certain way. Often it’s only this story which keeps us from moving forward. We find reasons for being unhappy instead of just doing the things that make us happy.
We look for some external cause or an innate flaw that will alleviate us from taking responsibility for our own choices.
This story does far more damage than any actual event, because the story lives on after the event is over. When we turn that story into a narrative about our own personality, it becomes unchangeable. We make that story a part of who we are, rather than just something that happened in the past.
If you listen carefully you can hear the pattern in others.
Understanding ourselves is important. We should seek to find the factors that influence our behaviors so we can change them for the better. However, when we start to believe that our own actions today are controlled by some past event or some immutable internal quality, we sabotage ourselves.
What story have you been telling yourself?
Is that story working for you?